"Commander," Kirk said, "did you just slap my ass?"
Spock looked perfectly innocent, nothing at all the matter, almost as if he hadn't moved at all. Several eyes were staring as the first officer looked at Kirk with both eyebrows raised.
"Why would I have done such a thing?"
The day had started perfectly normal. Bridge duty, as usual, was boring. Kirk had been passing Spock's station when something had caught his eye. Spock had of course stepped aside when Kirk asked to look. It happened almost as soon as Kirk had bent over to see the screen.
Kirk was staring at Spock now as he heard a snort of laughter from behind Spock. Bones was standing next to the captain's chair, holding his hand out to Sulu, who was handing over a small bottle to the doctor. Kirk's eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock and confusion.
"What's wrong with my crew?" he muttered under his breath. Spock merely looked at him, his innocent expression still in place.
"I believe it is called boredom," Spock replied before turning to leave Kirk standing there in bewilderment.
Uhura gave Chekov a confused look as Kirk went back to his seat. "Where did that come from?"
The navigator shrugged, looking at the woman in utter confusion. "You know ze friendly azzzlap was envented in Russia?"
Half an hour later Bones found Spock in the mess hall. He was carrying two new dataPADDs and a large bag of chocolate, which he put in front of Spock.
"There. Damn, hobgoblin, I think he'll have a bruise from that one."
"Bruising the captain was not my intent," Spock said as he looked in the bag. "I will inform you, however, that I would have done it for one of your dataPADDs."
Bones laughed and shook his head. "But that was definitely worth two."