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Kirk was lying on his right side, listening to the slippery sound of a favored lubricant being applied to a favored cock. He took a deep breath to still the tenseness in his stomach, but it didn't help much.

He heard the lid being screwed back onto the jar.

The bed shifted behind him, then a warm hand gently pushed on his left thigh, scooting that leg forward, and leaving him in a scissor-like position. A moment later the bed shifted again. He felt the slender body lay down alongside his own, partially behind him and partially on top of him. One hand settled on his left shoulder to steady him, and a dull, moist point was inserted between his buttocks.

He heard the other take a deep breath.

The dull point pushed against his anus, and he closed his eyes when the taut muscle protested. He bit his lower lip as the thick penis continued to demand entrance, then sighed quietly with relief when the organ was allowed to simply rest between his buttocks.

The ensuing silence was broken by the familiar baritone voice. "Jim, you are tense."

Relieved that the voice held only concern—and no hint of accusation—Kirk took a deep breath and shrugged. "I don't know what's wrong with me tonight, Spock," he said without looking at the other. "I just feel uptight for some reason."

Again the concern. "Did something happen today that I do not know about?"

Kirk quickly shook his head. He was still on his side and turned away from the other. "No, it was a pretty quiet watch." He shrugged again. "I don't know why I'm tense right now."

There was a pause, and the human was sure that the Vulcan was trying to quell his anxiety.

"Jim, I do not wish to force the entry."

"I know, Spock. I'm sorry."

If they had been younger, Kirk's pride may have insisted that Spock go ahead and take his pleasure, despite the pain that may have resulted. But they had both mellowed out with the years, and death and resurrection tended to make one's focus shift as to the truly important things in life.

Abruptly, the thick organ was pulled from between his buttocks. The bed bounced softly as Spock raised up and sat back on his heels.

"Jim," the Vulcan suggested gently, "perhaps it would help to talk...?"

Grateful that his friend knew better than to take the physical rejection personally, Kirk rolled over onto his back and forced a smile. "There isn't really anything I feel a need to talk about."

Spock pursed his lips as he considered that. "Perhaps a whirlpool bath would solve the problem."

Kirk shrugged casually. "Maybe. I was too lazy to use the jacuzzi tonight." The hot tub provided in each of the officers' quarters on the refitted Enterprise had almost become a nightly routine for Kirk. But tonight he hadn't been in the mood to use it.

His eyes darted momentarily to the Vulcan penis that was still partially erect and coated with lubricant. Despite the manufacturer's claims, both he and Spock found the taste of the substance unpleasant.

Kirk reached up with a hand and drew a finger along a green-tinged cheek. Kindly, he said, "If you wash yourself off, I'll do you a favor."

Spock shook his head. "That is not necessary."

The Vulcan shifted so that he could sit back against the headboard of their double bed and folded his hands across his stomach.

Kirk gave his lover a wry smile and patted the other's hand. "Maybe I'm just old."

"Your age has nothing to do with it," Spock replied levelly. "Muscles loosen with age; they do not tighten."

"Logical, as always," Kirk conceded with a shrug and an uneasy smile.

"Perhaps your condition is a result of not engaging in foreplay," Spock continued thoughtfully. "We have neglected that step in much of our sexual activity of late."

Kirk sighed with forced patience. "Spock, when you've been fucking for as long as we have you don't need to go through so much foreplay. We've screwed lots of times without you doing anything more than sticking a greasy finger up my ass. Let's not—"

"When I lubricated you tonight," Spock interrupted smoothly, "I could feel the tenseness of your body, but I thought the subsequent anticipation would help you to relax and accept me. But you do indeed seem troubled by something."

This time Kirk's sigh was exaggerated. "Spock, can we please not talk about this? It's no big deal. Like I said, I'll give you a blow job if you want one." He looked at his mate pleadingly. "But let's not make an issue of this. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow."

Spock studied the sincerity on Kirk's face for a moment, then nodded. "Agreed. Perhaps we should sleep now."

Kirk nodded. "Okay. Goodnight." Before turning back on his side, he gave Spock's groin a guilty glance. The Vulcan's erection was softening ever so slowly, and the first officer was making no attempt to clean himself off despite the suggestion that they sleep. He wondered if Spock was hopeful that they'd eventually get to screw, after all.

Sighing again, Kirk abruptly turned on his side—away from Spock—pulled the blanket around his shoulder, and closed his eyes. He felt the Vulcan reach up and wave off the light, then slide beneath the covers.

For the next five minutes there was no sound. Then Kirk decided he couldn't stand the silence.

"Spock?" he inquired meekly.

"Yes, Jim?" came the whispered reply.

"What do you think Gillian thought of me?"

There was a pause, then a puzzled, "I am not certain what you are asking."

Kirk turned onto his back and put his hands behind his head. "How do you think she saw me?" he asked in a soft whisper. "Do you think she saw me as a father figure, or sort of like a brother or good friend, or...do you think she saw me as a potential lover?"

"I do not have enough information to answer your question accurately."

The human frowned in the darkness. "I know you don't know for sure, Spock. But how do you think she saw me? What is your opinion?"

The Vulcan took a deep breath before replying. "It is difficult to say, because so much of her attention was on the whales. Then, once coming to this century, she had much to learn and adjust to in a very short amount of time. I was not able to observe her much, other than noticing that she preferred to be in your company more than any one else's. In short, the only conclusion I can draw is that she liked you very much, probably felt a degree of love toward you, but that she was not in love with you."

"Do you think she was sexually attracted to me?"

"From my limited observations," Spock replied calmly, "I do not recall her ever seeming to have any interest in sex or other people, other than the affection toward you that I have already mentioned."

"You're not being very helpful, Spock."

There was a rustling of sheets. Kirk's eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough for him to tell that Spock had turned toward him.

"Jim," the Vulcan said with concern, "I do not understand why her feelings for you would matter so much to you. It is doubtful that her life will cross with ours ever again."

"I know," the human relented quietly. Then he explained, "With all that's happened the last few months, I haven't thought about women at all. She's the first one that I've felt any attraction toward since...," he shrugged, "since I-don't-know-when. And I haven't noticed any women who have seemed attracted to me. I'm starting to wonder if I've lost it."

Spock raised up on an elbow. "Lost it?"

"Yeah. You know, my desirability."

Firmly, the Vulcan said, "Jim, I find you extremely desirable. I do not understand why anyone else's attraction or lack of attraction toward you would matter."

"It does matter, Spock," the captain replied earnestly. "I know it's not logical, but I need to feel that people are still drawn to me—especially women...just like when I was younger. My ego needs that."

Spock settled back against the bed. Voice firm, he reasoned, "It is a losing proposition for others to desire you. They cannot have you."

The last sentence was said with such possessiveness that Kirk found himself smiling.

"Mr. First Officer," he said with gentle amusement, "desiring others or being desired by others is one thing. Acting on those desires is something else completely." He paused, then continued in a more serious tone. "You know I'd never sleep with anyone else, Spock. But I still have the need to feel that others would like to sleep with me—just like I would have liked to have made love to Gillian if I wasn't currently...attached."

Spock seemed to accept that explanation. A few moments later he added an explanation to his own. "Jim, you must realize that many people who do desire you are unlikely to display their feelings openly, particularly if I am in the vicinity. Most members of the Federation are aware that Vulcans are extremely possessive of their mates, and most everyone in Starfleet is aware of our relationship. They believe it is in their best interest to not show their attentiveness to one who belongs to me."

Kirk smiled. "You mean because they're afraid of what you may do to them?"

"That is correct."

Intrigued, Kirk turned toward his mate. Voice still slightly amused, he asked, "Spock, what would you do if, say, you heard someone ask me to go to bed with them?"

The eyebrows arched in surprise. "Nothing, of course."

Kirk's smile broadened. "Why not?"

"How you answered them would be entirely your choice, Jim. I may be your mate, but I do not have the right to make decisions for you."

Kirk was grinning from ear to ear. "So, what would you do if someone asked me to go to bed with them, and I said, 'Yes'?"

A few moments passed before there was a reply. "That situation would never occur."

Spock's confidence took the human by surprise.

"How can you be so sure?"

"There would be nothing for you to gain by sleeping with another. No other being has the knowledge or skill to pleasure you as effectively as I do." His voice became slightly quieter and slightly hoarse. "And no other being in this universe loves you as much as I."

Kirk's eyes watered and his voice was tender. "Oh, Spock."

"In addition," the Vulcan continued in a level tone, "if you were to ever sleep with another, I would strongly consider breaking your neck."

There was a stunned silence. Then Kirk suddenly doubled over in a fit of laughter.

"Obviously, you find the prospect of your death amusing."

Kirk had to take deep breaths to get his laughing under control. When the fit subsided enough for him to speak, he lovingly said, "Oh, Spock, if I were to ever sleep with anyone else, I have no doubt that you would consider breaking my neck. But you would never actually do anything like that."

Spock silently conceded that point. He had grown contemplative as he watched the giggling continue to subside. He knew that laughing was as effective as crying when it came to relaxing muscles.

Abruptly, the Vulcan was on his knees and reaching for the human. In one smooth motion he flipped Kirk over onto the captain's stomach and parted the fleshy buttocks. The entry was quick and painless.

Kirk was still laughing even as the large organ parted him. He coughed/giggled a couple of more times, then felt all the humor leave him.

The flesh within was stimulating him so effectively that he began to moan with passion and pleasure. Spock had an arm beneath his hips and had lifted him in a way that allowed his prostate to receive the optimum amount of friction. And Spock's thrusts were perfectly timed as to speed and depth of penetration—the result of many years of making love together.

Kirk called the Vulcan's name repeatedly, with a frenzy of gasps and sighs.

Despite the intensity of the pleasure, the human had never been able to climax from stimulation to his prostate alone. Spock, ever so thoughtful, reached around him and grabbed the human's throbbing penis, and began to rub it with short, fierce strokes. While doing this, the Vulcan slowed his thrusts, moving just enough to ensure that he was still stimulating his human, but prolonging his own excitement.

Kirk grabbed the mattress with his hands and cried out as orgasm was reached.

Now that his mate had been satisfied, Spock focused his attention on his own pleasure. He removed his hands from Kirk's genitals and placed them on either side of the captain's head. With the bed taking his weight, he thrust into the captain with long, powerful strokes. Moments later his baritone cry signaled his climax.

Panting, the Vulcan withdrew from the human and collapsed on the other side of the bed.

Kirk hadn't moved. But he muttered, "Jeezus, Spock, you do that so well. You've killed me."

Spock's smile was one of inner satisfaction, but he remained silent.

Kirk finally rolled over onto his back, an elaborate groan accompanying the motion. He finally looked over at his companion. "You sneaky sonofabitch," he grinned affectionately.

Spock had grabbed a towel from the nightstand and was wiping himself off. "I believe one should take advantage of one's opportunities," he replied innocently.

More seriously, Kirk said, "You should have told me you were that horny."

"It would only have made you feel guilty," Spock reasoned as he offered the towel to the human. "Your laughter proved to be an adequate remedy to your anxiety."

Kirk merely grunted as he toweled himself off. When he was finished with the cleaning process he tossed the towel over to the recycling chute and missed by at least a foot.

"Something just occurred to me," he said as he got beneath the covers. His companion was already settled in.

"What is that, Jim?"

The human shrugged. "If we ever see Gillian sometime in the future, she'll probably have heard about us."

"That is a likely possibility."

Kirk ran a finger along his lips, his expression contemplative. "I wonder how she'll take it." He looked at his friend. "In her century, homosexuality was fairly common, but not accepted by society in general."

Spock considered that, then said, "She seems to be an extremely tolerant individual."

Kirk nodded. "Yeah, but it still may be a shock to her. She thought you were pretty strange, you know."

Spock arched an eyebrow. "No, I was not aware of that."

Kirk chuckled softly at the memory. "Yeah, she once referred to you as 'that ditzy guy'."

"And you, of course, corrected her perception by telling her of my best qualities?"

Kirk shrugged. "No, I just let her believe what she wanted to believe. I figured once we got the whales we'd never see her again, so there was no point wasting time trying to tell her how wonderful you were." He grinned at his friend. "Besides, you 'best qualities' are hardly suitable for a lady's ears."

There was a momentary silence, then, "I see."

Kirk gazed at his friend, then suddenly broke into laughter while at the same time pulling the lean form into his arms.

"I love you so damn much, you silly Vulcan," he whispered, hugging Spock close. Then he released the pressure and bent to claim the green-tinged lips. "Mmmm."

When they'd broken away, they lay gazing into each other's eyes. Then, seriously, the human whispered, "I'm getting older and you just keep getting better. I hope to ghod you'll always want me, Spock."

Spock reached up and gently drew a finger across Kirk's forehead. "T'hy'la," he whispered in a feather-light tone, "it is so foolish of you to have such doubts. What must I do to convince you that you are the only one my eyes have ever seen?" He paused, and in a little louder voice, added, "You speak of desirability for and from others, but you are the only one I have or will ever share intimacy with. You are my life, my reason for being."

The human gazed back at the soft, brown eyes. "And you're my anchor, Spock. And all that matters to me anymore. All that really matters."

The corners of the Vulcan's mouth twitched upwards, and he stroked the human's hair. "Does that mean you are no longer concerned about others desiring you?"

"I guess not," Kirk realized suddenly. "I just need you to desire me. Just you." He grinned suddenly. "Besides, I don't need to get my neck broken."

"A wise conclusion, Captain."

Kirk leaned over and rested his head against Spock's chest. "Faker. You're as harmless as they come." He tilted his head up so he could see Spock's eyes. "You're too good to me, you know."

"I do not agree. However, if you will inform me of how you think I should be treating you, I will try to indulge you."

"Clever devil."

Spock smiled.

Kirk sighed. "I think a little while ago I'd decided that I was dead. That was one helluva screwing you gave me, First Officer." He detached himself from the Vulcan's arms and laid back on his side of the bed, his eyes closing. "I think I'll behave like a proper cadaver."

Spock laid a brief kiss on the vulnerable lips. "As long as you come back to life in the morning."

"You've got a deal," Kirk muttered sleepily. "Goodnight, Spock."

"Goodnight, Jim."

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