Date: 09/06/2017 12:20 AM Title: Chapter 3
" I'd love to know what you're thinking." Okay, seeing how you asked! Call me jaded maybe? But I actually felt you held back slightly in that chapter rather than giving it your all? It didn't feel like it had your full commitment? Maybe from a fear of offending if you "went too far"? (Not possible, btw). Chapter 2 was so deliciously and viscerally shocking, with the Spock steaks ... this chapter needed to scale the same heights. Somehow, a red hot poker seemed a little too mundane? (Told you I'm jaded, lol). I would have liked you to see the chilli motif through and apply the chilli torture at both ends. It seemed a little more 'creative' than just going straight in with a hot rod? There's not a lot of places left to go after that!
Just my two penceworth fwiw. xxx
NB: no such thing as too dark.
I appreciate your response. And I did think about that idea before deciding upon the hot poker. Well, I didn't want him to lose sensation (or be damaged permanently so early in the story) which can happen if the chili is applied irresponsibly. Besides, remember, the torture is a means to an end and they don't want to numb Jim to what's happenin. There is a reason these guys are professional torturers. When I say the story will be dark, I do mean it will be dark. I am sorry though if you didn't enjoy this chapter. I hope you will still stay with the story. I am glad you chose to write such a detailed and honest review. I am glad to have feedback. It means a lot to me.
Date: 09/04/2017 9:26 PM Title: Chapter 2
Enfin, quelque chose qui n'est pas facile ou crasse. Quelque chose qui soit bien écrit et bien conçu, pas maudlin ou enfantin ou trop sentimental mais adulte sur le thème et le ton.
J'aimerais qu'il y ait eu plus d'histoires sur l'Archive comme ça et moins écrit par ceux qui ont le QI émotionnel d'un adolescent rabougrisé. Parfois, le manque de compréhension de la profondeur de la relation Kirk / Spock est choquant. Pas tellement ici!