Date: 08/10/2016 5:47 PM Title: Life and Death
This has become a fantastic Tarsus story, as well as a great reboot Jim / Spock story. Jim's descent into near madness, and later PTSD, is heartbreaking. As is Spock's hopeless (not so hopeless?) love. All your characters are spot on, even slimey Decker.
Thanks for a great read again.
First I want to say I love your user name. Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the story despite its serious need for a Beta (I cringe at how bad some spots are now that I've reread it a couple months later) Thank you for leavng a review.
Date: 04/05/2016 3:40 AM Title: Life Goes On
It's been some time since I have got so entangled in a story and I enjoyed it right to the end. I was somewhat disappointed when the aliens showed up, I'm not even sure why. Somehow I would have preferred the situation to have been strategical-political only. I felt a fall in the narrative tension there, but you got back to it at the very end with Jim's letter.
I somehow missed on how Uhura and Luca got to safety...
I think that you did an admirable job at focusing on how the Tarsus experience has shaped Jim into the captain he is, this Kirk is Nu!Jim to the bones, I kept seeing him when he offers his life in front of the view screen for that of his crew, the look in his eyes...
As for the rest I confirm my impression voiced in the previous review: a good beta would help but your story is readable enough to make it a very enjoyable read even as it is.
I was trying to keep in line with the TOS feel, but I do somewhat agree with you as the transition was lacking. I did want to avoid a starfleet conspiracy or political thing because it was way too overused and would undermine the feel of the story. I felt that aliens trying to survive themself through morally questionable activities fit into the theme much better.
Uhura and Luca were eventually found, there wasn't much details in how other than that they were. I couldn't really fit it into the story with Jim or SPock's point of view as to how with everything going on with them emotionally.
Unfortunately, a good beta is hard to find. I do the best I can in self editing, but I know it is lacking. Thank you for the feedback.
Date: 03/30/2016 1:22 PM Title: Deja Vu
I am reading this story as a completed work. I'm one of those readers who dislike WIPs. And I usually review after the last chapter. But now I have to stop by and say that I'm much impressed with your talent. You have great imagination and a sure sense of rhythm and timing. Your characterization works out well. While a native speaker beta would be handy to get rid of some mistakes that disturb the fluency of the tale I find that it reads very well even as it is. Actually I find it quite addictive.
I'm glad you like it. Sorry about the mistakes. I try to reread the story once in a while to catch anything I missed, but as you know, if you wrote it it's hard to catch your own mistakes. Please enjoy the rest of the story.
Date: 01/24/2016 8:33 PM Title: James Tiberius Kirk
Okay someone kick these unethical pseudo-scientists in the butt! I've seen the Milgram, Skinner's Box, the Standford Prison, and versions of the Little Albert experiments performed more humanely. At least now we debrief our subjects in the modern world and at least with even Milgram's experiment no one was physically hurt (I still feel bad for anyone exposed to the originals since psychological trauma is horrible! And I feel bad for the rats and other critters in Skinner's box as I'm pretty sure a ton of physical damage was done!).
These people are Like the Nazis and the early (and I hate to give them this title) psychology researchers who did not give a damn physically and psychologically about the people they are using. Maybe they'd like a chance to experience what they have forced on others? A lobotomy? The original Electroshock therapy? Perhaps holographic versions of these where they experienced the true effects of their "experiments" would provide them with compassion....
Sorry I got a little passionate... *goes and hides in a corner*
It's fine. I understand the need to rant. So come out of your corner. I think the problem is these aliens feel that humans are equivalent to rodents, and that's why they aren't being humane, especially since they said that their race survival depends on these experiments. I mean we still use animals in testing and to them that's what humans are. Lower cognitive functioning animals.
Thanks for leaving a review!
Date: 11/29/2015 5:05 AM Title: Fungal Fever
I hope that you will be updating soon, I found your story yesterday and I just now finished up the last posted chapter. I am waiting anxiously for Spock to talk with Jim about how he feels and I think it will help Jim with his feelings for Spock become much clearer. I am waiting now to see how Jim is going to react to the Commadore having the infection. I am wondering about what he will do especially if the need is to kill him so they survive. Please come back really soon with am update of maybe a few chapters hopefully.
Date: 06/24/2015 8:09 PM Title: Deja Vu
I feel like people usually gloss over taurus so I'm really happy you've chosen to talk about the gritty, dark parts of what that most be like and how it is for kirk now. Also, I love him and spock's interactions in here, just pure beauty, all of this glorious work! I'm eager to read more!
Date: 04/21/2015 11:10 AM Title: Deja Vu
You´re my plot-godess - or god? Whatever. I think that it needs some grit to let Kim Kirk kill people, and yet following the story it seems absolutely - logical ;)
I love both your stories and hope to read more soon. I´d offer me as a Beta and would feel honored, but as I´m german and english it not my native language, and don´t know if I´d be of much use.
All the best, looking forward to more chapters
You know I forgot to update the latest chapter for Plugged In on this website. Thanks for reminding me. I'll upload it now.
I think what you meant to say (and correct me if I'm wrong) that you thought it took guts to let Jim Kirk kill someone, cause grit doesn't quite make sense. Again you could mean grit and I'm just clueless.
Thanks for the support (and the compliment). ;)
Date: 04/10/2015 9:01 PM Title: Deja Vu
So. It's done. I read all chapteres in one... and needed 4-5 hours for that....
Because english isn't my native language and I needed sometimes the translator or my wordbook.
You made a great Job an I'm really eager for the next chapter.
To urmelis review:
cologne is a big city in Germany... named Köln. ;-)
I am glad you enoyed it. I can't say that I will apologize for making you use your wordbok. It means a lot to me that you find my story worthy enough of your attention that you put some effort out into understanding it. It makes my heart all warm and fuzzy. I'll do my best to update soon.
Date: 02/01/2015 9:27 PM Title: The Beginning
Tolle 5 kapitel, ich hoffe sehr, dass du bald weiter schreibst und dich auch entschließt weiter star tek zuschreiben.
Ich habe es sehr genossen.
I will try it to say it in english.
i like it very much and I do not like abrahams very much, but you write it so great that i have a good time.
i hope you write more k/s and i hope too, you give us very soon more of this story.
Sorry my school english is bad and very old.
Best wishes from cologne
I love your english. Though I don't know what you mean by cologne. Lol. I will write the next chapter soon! Thanks for the lovely comments.