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Reviewer: oyboh Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/19/2014 9:25 PM Title: Chapter 5

very very nice indeed!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: oyboh Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/19/2014 9:12 PM Title: Chapter 4

Beautiful.

Reviewer: angelocustode Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/19/2014 6:59 PM Title: Chapter 5

This coming together after all the misunderstandings and wrong steps is quite ... satisfactory! ;)

I'll check out your next stories, I certainly will!



Author's Response:

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Please do look out for my next story, I hope it's as satisfactory as this one. 

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/18/2014 7:24 PM Title: Chapter 5

I agree that most of the sex scene is written from irk's POV (and very satisfyingly so!) This seemed to be written from Spock's POV, though, as it shows how Kirk appears to Spock and how Spock feels his heartbeat:

"Jim’s eyes roll up in his head and a glistening strand of drool winds its way down the side of his mouth. His body is completely flushed a sweet pink-red and Spock can feel his Jim’s heartbeat in the space behind his balls."

In the next paragraph you mention "Spock only sees the whites of his [Kirk's] eyes."

A couple of paragraphs earlier, Kirk grins, "but there’s pain around the edges of his smile." Is this Kirk telling us what he is experiencing, or is it Spock seeing the signs of pain around the edges of Kirk's smile. It felt like the latter to me, but I'm not sure.

Pretty minor compared to the ping-ponging I see in a lot of fan fic!



Author's Response:

Right! I got them, nasty little buggers. Thank you so much for pointing out these discrepancies. I will try my level best to smoothen out all these kinks before the next fanfic. The problem is I'm the only person beta-ing the fic so I sometimes suffer from tunnel-vision. Thank you though for pointing it out! You the best!

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/18/2014 5:08 PM Title: Chapter 5

Whew! <fans self> That was incredibly hot! I like your strong, dominant Spock.

It is very difficult to write a sex scene without the point of view bouncing back and forth between the two characters. Don't know if there's a solution, because it can be unsatisfying to write the scene all from one character's point of view. Perhaps limiting the number of shifts?

Thanks for a satisfying read. Look forward to your next story.



Author's Response:

Hahaha! I'm glad you liked him. I do too! 

I tried to write the sex scene from Jim's point of view but after reading your review, I don't think I succeeded. Could you perhaps point out the places where it felt a little too much like ping pong?

 

And do look forward for my next story. It's called 'I Will Come For You'. 

 

Thank you so much for your review and do tell me where I can improve!

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/16/2014 12:56 AM Title: Chapter 4

The last paragraph was beautiful and heartfelt. Poor Spock: His obliviousness to how he affects the person he loves the most can be frustrating at best, tragic at worst. At times it seems almost self-indulgent, as though he is so insecure at not being loved that he will insist on putting Kirk off until he explodes, as he finally did here. But I must say, it took a lot of courage for Spock to ask for the mindmeld. Good for him.



Author's Response:

I am so glad you liked the last paragraph. Yes, I structured it that way deliberately because I wanted the readers as well as Jim to see things from Spock's POV. I am so glad you were able to see the subtle undertones and shades of Spock. Assumption affects us all in the worst of ways. And yes, without courage you can't find out whether you had a universe waiting out there for you or not. 

 

The next chapter will be up today itself. It will also be the last chapter. There will be smut. I just wanted to warn you in case it's not your cup of tea. Thank you for the review. It was brilliant. 

Reviewer: angelocustode Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/15/2014 1:46 PM Title: Chapter 4

Great chapter, I love the way you render the meld. I hope they will finally understand each other at least a little bit after this experience.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you liked it. I had another reviewer tell me that I let Spock off too easy. But once you're in a meld you experience things as the other person did from the other end of the spectrum and that's what I wanted to convey. 

Reviewer: angelocustode Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/14/2014 7:33 PM Title: Chapter 3

And that is definitely a step into the right direction! ;)

One error you might like to correct:

At least ONE (not once) of us should remember we are Federation Officers.



Author's Response:

I just corrected it. Thank you so much. You're the best.

 

On the bright side, there's a brand new chapter for you to sink your teeth into. 

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/13/2014 11:02 PM Title: Chapter 3

Yay, another chapter so soon, and on a gay planet! The description of the two of of them in native dress, gleaming with fragrant oil and in short skirts sans underwear and letting it all hang out, is too marvellously sexy for words. Even though nobody is having sex (yet!), the UST is so intense that it is even more erotic than if they were. Hope they are finally getting somewhere now.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it! Yes, it was a bit tricky trying to the right setting to rouse Spock's jealous and protective instincts, but I'm glad it all worked out in the end. As a bonus, I've updated with the next chapter! Hope you like it! 

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/13/2014 12:29 AM Title: Chapter 2

How cosmic -- I had just discovered this story and reviewed the first chapter when the second chapter was posted! I'm glad I didn't have to wait. This is funny and sexy at the same time. Love your Spock with his pre-Reform possessiveness. The word-picture of Kirk just getting out of a steamy shower was vivid and thoroughly delectable, and I can see why Spock was such a mess that night. Loved T'Pau as the wise matriarch and matchmaker. Looking forward to more!



Author's Response:

I am so so glad you enjoyed my story! I'm definitely going to put up the rest of it ASAP! I'll admit I was a little worried I overdid the shower scene but you've reassured me I've not! So thank you for that! Expect more to come! 

Reviewer: Sera Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2014 7:23 PM Title: Chapter 2

That's very funny. I like your T'Pau. ;-)

Author's Response:

Yay! I'm glad you liked my T'Pau. Sometimes Spock just needs to be slapped on the back of his head. T'Pau's the only woman who can do that!

Reviewer: angelocustode Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2014 6:14 PM Title: Chapter 2

I love your T'Pau, she is a formidable woman.

 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like her. I wanted her to display the strength and maturity that she is so famous for! Otherwise the whole fic would just fall apart.

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2014 3:51 PM Title: Chapter 1

Poor Spock. It sounds as though he wants Kirk desperately but hasn't the foggiest idea how to go about getting together with him. Poor Kirk has to do all the work, and look what he gets for his troubles!



Author's Response:

It's quite stressful, I know! On the bright side, a new chapter's being uploaded right... about... NOW!

Reviewer: angelocustode Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/20/2014 7:44 PM Title: Chapter 1

No! Poor Jim! Your Spock is extremely irritable as Vulcans go...



Author's Response:

He's supposed to be that way, but don't worry;

All good things come to those who wait. 

Especially Jim. :)



Author's Response:

He's supposed to be that way, but don't worry;

All good things come to those who wait. 

Especially for Jim. :)



Author's Response:

He's supposed to be that way, but don't worry;

All good things come to those who wait. 

Especially for Jim. :)

Reviewer: Tydomin Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/20/2014 4:50 PM Title: Chapter 1

Wow, Spock - overreaction much! HAHAHAHAHA



Author's Response:

I know right? But we can all get a little insanely possessive sometimes. Meh.

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