Date: 08/21/2013 6:36 PM Title: Chapter 4
I can tell there's just going to be more shit hitting the fan, and I can't help but cry a little on the inside especially because of the MPreg in the Story Type.
One thing, Vulcan body temperature is 91F so technically, Spock would be cool to the touch.
Date: 07/20/2013 12:32 PM Title: Chapter 1
I can't imagine being raped, conceiving and being forced to carry the child to term to hand it over to the bastard that orchestrated the whole thing for nothing more than political gain. I'm not an advocate of suicide, but it would seem to be the logical solution, or since this scheme definitely doesn't adhere to Surak's precepts, answer in kind and have said bastard taken out of the equation completely with a neat little murder. I'm sure old Spock would know how to do it and get away with it, especially if it would keep Jim from doing it.
Date: 07/20/2013 3:52 AM Title: Chapter 4
ACK! An update!! Awesome chapter. The plot's really thickening now. I know they gave Spock some contraceptives, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he still conceived. I do hope for some more hurt/comfort. That's the best, especially after what Spock's been through.
Date: 07/20/2013 3:51 AM Title: Chapter 4
I was just thinking about this fic the other day and to my pleasant surprise here's a new chapter! This was a really interesting chapter with learning about Vulcan law and the whys are all coming together. I feel so bad for Spock; everything he's feeling, especially for Jim. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Date: 05/09/2013 7:40 AM Title: Chapter 3
Well, I don't think Sarek is going to let things drop for an instant. If anything, he'd work contacts at urge to fuel media outrage that a Starfleet officer was attacked by a deranged Vulcan. Or he would consider that and perhaps not do it, knowing the harm that would come to all Vulcans as a result? A coverup? Is there someone left among the Vulcans who could provide justice? The crew will never heal until they see that guy get the appropriate prison sentence. One of them will ruin their own life and kill that guy first.
What about the elder Spock? Dude is extremely sneaky. He might do something extremely illegal and unethical. And not get caught.
Date: 05/07/2013 10:36 PM Title: Chapter 3
The characterizations have certainly improved. That said, we should talk about some of the more technical aspects of writing, quotations and attributions in particular.
Attributions: what comes after the quoted dialogue, for instance, 'he said' 'he asked' 'he yelled' 'he shouted'
Important rules to live by:
1) commas replace periods at the end of a quotation before the attribution. For instance: "You are dismissed," he said. Rather than. "You are dismissed." He said. The first is correct, the second is incorrect.
2) attribution are not captilized after punctuation used in an attribution. For instance: "Where have you been?" he asked. The 'he' is NOT capitilized.
For a more indepth look at the proper use of quotations and attributions, please see this guide located here: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/quotation.htm
Other than that, your writing seems to be coming along. One small pick would be the use of Scott instead of Scotty when people are thinking or talking about him in informal terms. In trek, everyone calls him Scotty unless it's in the line of duty or within a formal context. :)
Hope this helpful. Happy writing! :)