Date: 11/14/2015 10:01 AM Title: The Second Incident
OK, I'm really enjoying this, but I have to point out that you're misspelling the word "breech". As you've spelled it, it means hindquarters - in other words, your butt!
The correct spelling would be "breach".
Apart from that, really good fic, thanks.
Date: 04/03/2014 12:48 AM Title: Home and Finding New Hope
Wow. This was everything I could have hoped for. It had hot sex, and you still paid attention to otherwise-minor characters and original characters. You handled the psychology of the whole thing - from Spock's troubles with intimacy to Marionette's behavior to Ted's well-thought-out and detailed psychological breakdown. There were some typos, but I tend to forgive you for them. It was just so complex.
And, this is not a criticism, but the ony part I was a little confused about was the sex scene between Mary and Giotto. Well-written and well-researched, absolutely, but I was unsure as to the purpose of that scene - whether the plot was going to be advanced by it or whether it was just a welcome break from the seriousness of the rest of it. Looking back, I can see that that scene was plot-driving, but I still remember that as something that struck me as confusing when I read it. This may be completely ignored, but if you are planning on going back and editing, I would just do a little sentence or phrase about why the scene is there at the beginning, rather than us realizing only when Mary comes forth with information that the scene had a purpose.
Then again, as Neil Gaiman says, most people who know exactly what they want to criticize have absolutely no idea how to fix it effectively.
Oh wow, what a wonderul, well thought out review for what I do believe was my first multi-chaptered K/S story. Ever. I'm glad you enjoyed the physchology and forgave the typos. I don't have a beta, I try to catch my own errors, but I never had the patience to wait on a proof for my fanfiction. I write it for fun, and perhaps it's sloppy of me not to take it seriously enough to get it beta'd, but this was a couple years ago almost now and I was just getting back into writing. At any rate, I do need to go back through and repair a lot of my earlier work, if/when I get the time.
About the Mary/Giotto sex scene. It easily could have been left out, but I did feel the story needed some levity while I was writing it, but I'm sure it could have functioned just as well without it. You aren't the first person to mention it, but again, I was just coming back to writing and probably didn't make the best plot development choice in that regard. But, I don't think I'll change it. It is what it is. :)
I'm glad you liked the story despite what the many flaws I know it has, and I thank you sincerely for your very kind and astute review. <3
Date: 09/14/2012 11:51 AM Title: Home and Finding New Hope
I finally managed to read this story last night - and now I wonder why I waited so long. It was truly delightful and very well written and even though there were some angsty (and even creepy) bits, I loved it very much.
The way you made Spock aware of everything around him when he was in a coma or a trance was a great way to get those boys together. And both of them pining for each other is always made of win! I liked Giotto having a sweet and hot girlfriend and I liked that you hooked up Bones and Uhura. I also liked Matthews' revelation when Spock melded with him and that you told us what happend to him. I found it quite funny that he "bonded" with Stonn over their mutal former dislike of Spock.
I wish you had included the real bonding between Jim and Spock, but I just imagine that they had a lovely little ceremony on Vafer-Tor with Selik in attendance.
Well, thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm glad you liked this story--it was the first longer story I wrote for this fandome and still is kind of my baby. I'm going to go back through and smooth out some of the edges I think are a little rough, and maybe add an additional chapter or extend the epilogue. Several people have expressed a desire for details on Jim and Spock's bonding and even more people have expressed an interest in seeing how Matthews and Stonn officially come together...*cough, cough* We'll see when I get around to it. Right now, I'm busy with a move and with like, a ton of challenges for the 2012 KS Advent. :P
Thanks again for the detailed review. I always appreciate them, no matter how old the story. ;P
Date: 07/11/2012 1:24 AM Title: Home and Finding New Hope
Loved it! I'm actually glad with how things turned out for Matthews in the fic. It was obvious that he was suffering from a psychotic break, and the scene between him and Spock was wonderful.
And I wonder what Stonn could be planning with their little meeting... ;D
Wow, it always makes me happy to see new feedback on an older story. Not that it's that old, lol. I'm very glad you liked it and thought my ending for Matthews was fitting. I did, after all, take a vote and the general concensus was that he needed help rather than dismemberment...
As for Stonn and Matthews, I've left that up to the reader's imagination...although, many have suggested an epilogue that depicts just that, lol. Currently, I'm still on the fence about it, but I'm not ruling it out. It will just have to wait until my other two fics are done, or at least one of them....
Date: 06/25/2012 5:54 PM Title: Home and Finding New Hope
I LOVE how you brought Stonn into this and brought closure to the story.I like the fact that what brought them together is the fact that they have both hurt spock and they both regret it.Thank you so much for writing this wonderful story and sharing it.I became a big fan by reading your Harlequin story and I have to say you are an amazing author!
*blush* Thank you so much for all of your kind reviews. I'm glad you've found my stories interesting and that you felt the need to share you opinions. ;) BTW, new chapter for Harlequin by Wednesday (I hope, at least, lol).
Date: 06/24/2012 8:03 PM Title: Revelations, Confessions and First Kisses
Guess?I thought you made it clear.Now I'm confused!
I have to say I love it when everyone knows whats goind between these two except themselves.They are so obviously in love!
And the part that Jim says spock is intimidating even in his sleep...priceless!
Date: 06/24/2012 7:17 PM Title: The Second Incident
I don't know why but what happened to spock touched something in me that almost made me cry...and I am one hell of a cold evil person.When most people are weeping while watching a movie I'm like how sad...moving on!anyways,I really love how you didn't make cupcake EVIL! I think he is a great guy and love how he and Jim started their relationship rocky, kind of the same with Spock and Uhura.Jim got into trouble with almost everybody!^^
Hmmm, I too don't typically cry at purposely sappy movies, BUT--I can't stand the intolerance, discrimination or inhumane treatment of/towards/against other human beings. I grew up in the South and it is disgusting to me the level of racism that still exists in areas down there. A lot of motivation for this story comes from my utter hatred of such ignorance. I always found it interesting in Star Trek that Vulcans preached tolerance and acceptance, yet they often treated Spock as something lesser or tainted.
As for Giotto, I found it curious that every pegs him as an asshole, so I did some research. In TOS he led several security teams, most notably in the episode with the hortas. He seemed like a decent, overall guy and I liked him. Too, in the new movie he only got snooty with Jim because he was being an utter douche and totally disrespectful. That doesn't mean he's evil--just protective of his own (as he should be, since that's his job, no?).
Date: 06/04/2012 11:25 PM Title: Home and Finding New Hope
Stonn had told Ted that he’d like to show him around his property next weekend and that they could analyze soil samples together, since they were both geologists. Apparently, their minds were highly compatible…whatever that meant.
Total win! That line cracks me up. ^_^ Awesome story! Now I kinda want to see a sequel with Stonn seducing unsispecting Matthews....
Hmmm...could be a fun epilogue to write. I will give it some thought. lol.
Date: 06/03/2012 3:32 AM Title: Home and Finding New Hope
That was hot between Jim and Spock, and I like ending you gave Matthews. lol him and Stonn, lol.
This has been a great read^^ as always great work, I love your writing style^^
Thank you very much. I'm happy you enjoyed. :)