Date: 02/03/2015 6:25 AM Title: Chapter 3
I NEED MORE OF THIS!!! Omg so good! A little rusty in some spots, as in you occasionally have different people speaking in same area with minimal spaces so it gets a little confusing/choppy from time to time, but that could also possibly be because I'm using my phone. All in all, I love the plot and for the most part you stay in character. and even when you stray a bit it's not so far that it's unbelievable, and it actually fits the story well. All in all, I can hardly wait until theres more!
Date: 02/09/2013 9:36 PM Title: Chapter 3
One suggestion: You will do yourself and your readers a real favor by working on paragraphing. Visually it can be difficult to read work that is all in one long paragraph, and dividing your prose into paragraphs shows that each paragraph is a complete idea in and of itself. You have a story with potential but may lose some readers who, like myself, have some visual issues that are aggrevated by formatting like this. Good luck with your work. I am looking forward to future posts.
Date: 10/24/2011 12:40 PM Title: Chapter 3
Thank you for submitting this.However, I too have a few huh moments.
Your concept is interesting but too much is left out (i.e. Why no one checked on Spock for so long? Why did Stonn attack him? Why does my cat walk on my keyboard while I'm typing?)
You are a brave soul to write, and as an author I never discourage that.
I have many Star Trek stories running through my head and one day, I will even get up the nerve to actually write it and post. Hugs
Date: 08/09/2011 6:37 PM Title: Chapter 1
I like this idea, BUT there are huge plot holes. How did Stonn get on board in the first place? Nobody noticed Spock was gone for two whole days? Spock couldn't fight off Stonn? Security 'stunned' Stonn and that killed him? Plus, you're putting a lot in a very ltitle space. I would urge you to slow down the pace, explain things more fully, and then go ahead.
Date: 08/09/2011 4:10 PM Title: Chapter 3
I have just read all 3 and want to take Sarek into a Darkened room with a baseball bat. The utter bastard. I hope Jim can pursade Spock to marry him and he doesn't think it a pity love. Oh what a crap situation for him to be in, why hasn't federation law enterferred and banded Sarek from seeing his son.
Date: 08/09/2011 2:47 PM Title: Chapter 3
Yay. Jim loves him enough to do this for him. I have a feeling though that Sarek is not going to leave them alone. Sarek can rot in hell. I hope Spock tells him that. Update soon.
Author's Response: Thanks. I am looking forward to writing about Sarek finding out Jim's alternative plan.
Date: 08/08/2011 7:10 PM Title: Chapter 1
Your story is interesting but is in dire need of formatting. Your paragraphs need to be broken apart, and conversation should be on spearate lines. It is extremely difficult to read the way you have it formatted.
Author's Response: I know. I saw that too when I looked at it here. This is not what the copy on my hard drive looks like. I will have to figure it out prior to posting chapter 3. Thanks.