Date: 06/21/2012 1:11 AM Title: Medical log
So good to see you back; fantastic story, which I had to re-read to remember what had happened and love your poetic style- so discriptive.
Spelling still a little unstable, but hey, it's sooo much improved on your earlier attemtps and that is great.
Please don't wait five months to update-I want to know what the hell happened.
Why thank you, It's very kind of you to say that. :)
And Ive been trying to get on top of that grammar and spelling so I'm glad its made a minor improvment. As for updating, I Plan to have another chapter done by maybe the end of the month. :)
Date: 06/20/2012 5:38 PM Title: Medical log
Wow.... it was so long since you updated that I sat down and read the whole thing from start to finish.....
I'd forgotten how vivid and emotionally charged your writing style is, how you make the reader feel that they are right there....
And you make it so realistic, down to the glowing plants in the dark, wonderful description of the alien trees, the smells, the temperature... you cover all the senses.
What I really loved was how you managed to get inside the characters' heads, even down to them not being able to see the aliens and being bewildered, the limitations of their senses.
One thing I am very curious about... what did Jim do to alienate Spock in the first place? Why were they both so sad and distant?
I like your writing, it's full of life and energy and imagination.
I'm sure someone has commented on the spelling and grammar errors so I won't say much about that, just to use spell check and a beta.. we all need them and use them. Hell, my stuff all goes five or six times back and forth between Kelly and me....
You go girl! Looking forward to next chapter. Don't wait too long, I'm getting older.....
Date: 06/20/2012 12:13 PM Title: Aftermath (Mini chapter) (Beta)
Oh, I just love the way you write...Poetry...your words are poetry...and oh I just could see and hear cranky Bones coming through pushing people to get to Jim...and telling them to get the hell out of the way.
So glad he has a pulse...on to the next chapter..well done.
Date: 06/20/2012 3:13 AM Title: Prologue
. The important thing is the plot and premise beneath, whether epic tale or psychological reflection and whether the writing technique carries that concept well. If the latter is true it holds the reader not just holds it has us going back and re reading to remind ourselves what went before. At least that is what I do with good Fics. I think the main function of a beta is to capture the non sequeturs, a good re read helps to find the spellcheck errors but they still sneak through no matter how hard you try!
I am enjoying your style and wondering hoW they got in the mess, so much that I must start again to see if there are hints. It is definitely worth following the muse/plot monster on this one. Though I am ready to get the idiot who decided it was safe to capture such dangerous aliens. I will just have to trust that there is a crucial plot element for which their presence on the Enterprise requires. Tell Bones to be careful.
Date: 06/19/2012 10:54 PM Title: Prologue
Yay! Alice is back (does happy dance) So, I love how you go between points of view. Having gone back to the beginning of the story, I am guessing some chapters had beta's and some didn't. It is easier to read when beta'd and the reader can appreciate your story line and dialogue better. Regardless, you did an excellent job communicating Spock's desperation, probably because of the outsider pov. I love McCoy's voice especially. Please finish this. It is a great idea!
Whoot! Someone is still reading (Also does happy dace). I just recently got a beta that is just great, and I will hopefully send some of the older work to her when she gets some stuff back to me, so that problem will soon be fixed. :)
Thanks SO MUCH for the review and input. Also, i'm happy I got McCoy at least a tad close, I wont lie, I sweated that a bit :) I hope to have something up again soon.
Thanks again :3
Date: 01/21/2012 9:39 PM Title: Prologue
Sigh...this is sadly where I must depart the story. The quality of this chapter has really suffered due to excessive mistakes and I just don't understand why you won't or can't get a beta.
Good luck with your future writing.
Author's Response: Urm, This (The Mini Chapter) IS beta. But If you feel that way then your loss I guess. Sorry this wasnt "up to your standards" :/
Date: 01/10/2012 3:04 PM Title: Prologue
It took me so long to get to the rank of captain and even then I never could have imaged I would have such a fine crew.
I thought Kirk was the youngest captain in the history of Starfleet? Canon. If he's the youngest, than how did i take him so long to achieve the rank of captain?
Other than that wee bit 'o' confusion, this is SUPERB!!! Can't wait for more! And I agree, it all has such a nice Trekkish feel---just like an ep! Awesome...
Author's Response: Meh, LOl I see your point....Not sure what I was thinking. But otherwise I'm HONORED you like it. :)
Date: 11/28/2011 9:51 AM Title: Prologue
This story ROCKS!
Your vivid descriptions and ability to communicate emotions is quite enjoyable. As another reader commented, PLEASE ask a trusted beta to look over your work for spelling errors and other little things that sabatoge what could totally be one heck of an excellent story.
I hope you will continue until the very end because it appears as though you have some loyal readers. I for one am dying to know what happens next.
.....Woah.....I cant even.....I have to go cry now. Thnaks for the commnet :DDDDD
Date: 11/26/2011 3:37 AM Title: In Your Arms
It is so sad....but Spock loved Jim so much, and he feels horrible he couldn't protect Jim. He kills without thought, vengeance is mine. And now that the beast is gone...what will happen to Spock..can he function without Jim..or will he die also of his injuries...great job..more please....
just a reminder to look it over for spelling errors...sorry for being an ass about this..I know sometimes we type fast and we make mistakes, but if you just check them over, you'll catch the mistakes.