Date: 08/05/2011 10:17 AM Title: Part 1 Chapter 8
I know I mentioned this before, but I LOVE your dystopia.
I also love your Bones because I think that, in that situation, that is exactly how he would react. Your characterization (and not just on him) is absolutely perfect.
I'm hesitant to offer my services as a beta because, right now, I have a crapload of summer homework to do and once i'm done with that I will be subjected to the torture known as IB and have the crapload of work it requires forced upon me. If time isn't a concern, I'd be willing to beta for you starting after this month.
Great work, keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks! I always worry about characterization in AUs, because you want the characters to be the same people, but the situation is so different you have to gage how they'd react. Bones, I think, would change the least out of all of them because he's the oldest and in the most similar situation to his canon one, however. I'm glad it came off well to you:) I might take you up on that! I just finished summer college classes and I get one week before fall classes start up, so between school and my social life, it might be awhile before Part II starts coming up. But even if you don't want to beta, totally bounce off ideas about what you want to see, things which trouble you that you want changed, whatever. I love hearing others' ideas.
Date: 08/01/2011 9:36 AM Title: Part 1 Chapter 7
So I was originally hesitant, as I often am, to read this fic because i've seen so many incarnations of juvie!fics (not in this fandom, but I read a lot of bandslash and it's really popular there) and I wasn't really interested in this one.
However, as I often am, I am glad I did read this because I absolutely love it.
The intellectual discussion is refreshing an impressive. And while I've always been more of a physics and sociology kind of girl, i find myself enjoying philosophy for the first time (before this, I always found it sort of pointless because, for all the debating, there will never be an answer to the most important questions)
I also love the dynamic, ever-evolving relationship between Kirk and Spock as well as kirk's interaction with the rest of the group.
Your portrayal of the dystopic society is intensely fascinating, especially as seen from the perspective of "troubled" youth. From the crumbling propaganda in the beginning, to Dr. Noel's attempts at, for lack of a better word, brainwashing, and the brief discussion of politics, the outside world that we only get a peek at is accurately vast and complex, as it should be.
I always felt that the near-utopic, ideal world Trek is set in is kind of a far-fetched idea and you've done wonders with the more likely postsible-future
However, I would like to point out: intellectuals can listen to punk too, I would consider myself a burgeoning intellectual and I happen to love punk rock
Author's Response: Aww, I'm glad you gave it a try! Thank you :) My understanding of physics is pretty shoddy, so feel free to to correct me if you see any mistakes;) I'm glad the philosophy rants weren't too random. I tried to keep my nerdiness on minimum, but I needed the Birth of Tragedy thing to to foreshadow other stuff. I will say nothing of philosophy here except that philosophy is first and foremost a study based in logic (even when it debates things like the just state and/or the principles of jurisprudence, which are human constructs, as opposed to philosophy of math and science) It actually always kinda bugs me about Star Trek that they don't seem to realize logic is a science/techne/subject matter (like geometry) and treat it as an opposite of emotion...but I know philosophy is not everybody's cup of tea, so I'm glad that you didn't just skip over those parts in boredom :) Yeah,I know what you mean about the Trek world. As much as I love the whimsical, optimistic message of Star Trek, it almost seems TOO happy, you know? It's like I'm watching and my brain is going..."Nobody should be this happy and perfect all the time, there must be something else going on here." I LOVE punk rock music. I love everything from the old school stuff like the Sex Pistols, The Damned, The Jam, The Buzzcocks and all those 77 bands to the California punk of the 80's (Bad Religion and Black Flag FTW!)all the way to what few underground, obscure bands are around now (Black Lips, Wet Dreams, etc.) My comment was NOT supposed to be a dig at punk but a praise of subversive political philosophy, from someone who loves both. Thank you for commenting so that I could clarify that. Thank you so much for reading and your long, well-thought out review. I hope the fic does not disappoint and constructive crit is always welcome :)