Date: 08/10/2010 3:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
This reminds me alot of a scene in a movie I saw years ago called "Harnessing Peacocks", a movie that doesn't get shown too often over here in the States. Peter Davison's character is in the streets during a frenzy filled festival, all wearing masks, dancing, laughing. He meets a mysterous girl, they have a brief encounter, then she is lost in the crowd. You captured the mood very well, and I enjoyed it.
Date: 08/08/2010 3:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I really liked this. 'Turmoil' is a good description, and I found it confusing, but in a good way. I really liked how 'floating' the narrative felt, if that makes sense. It was as if I was right there, experiencing the turmoil along with Jim.
I epecially liked this sentence:
"He surrenders himself to the turmoil, uncaring and unfeeling of legs that buckle, unconcerned by the street that reaches up to welcome him anonymously to where a thousand feet might trample and destroy."
Thank you. I value your opinion, especially when I'm trying something that's a bit different!