Date: 12/29/2010 2:22 AM Title: The Spring of Hope
I read every chapter of this and found it to be delicious. I have no better word for it. Your insights to Spock and Jim's relationship are beautiful and honestly sounded practically canon. I'm adding this as a favorite and going on to read your other works. Thanks for a terrific return to "The Wrath of Khan."
Date: 08/08/2010 1:41 AM Title: The Spring of Hope
I can only say one more thing...Bravo.
I feel really good about this story right now -- and it certainly is a relief to have it finished! All I had originally wanted to do was write a fun slashy scene between Jim and Spock in the corridor of Starfleet Academy (cause it was just screaming slash all over to me)...and look how it morphed itself from there. As Dahliaxat mentioned to me one day, I really seemed to have stumbled into quite a project, trying to give slashy interpretations of the TOS films.
Boy, have I ever! "Reflections" is 97 single spaced pages in Word on my computer. I wonder how many pages are still waiting.
It's going to be interesting! :-D
For now...*sheepish bow*
Date: 08/08/2010 1:39 AM Title: The Corridor of Starfleet Academy
Poor Kirk never seems to be at the right place at the right time.
Yes, it is unfortunate that Jim's and Spock's careers always seem to pull them apart. Alas for the choices they've made!
Date: 08/08/2010 1:23 AM Title: The Kobayashi Maru
like how you wove the bond into the movie
There are ever so many stories that look at the K/S relationship either during the TOS 5 year mission or the Abrams Universe. But the more I looked, there really weren't nearly so many placed in the time period of the TOS movies, which was a real shame...and those usually were set in between the movies themselves. Few seemed to deal with the material and subjects dealt with in the movie.
I absolutely love the Wrath of Khan (I have ever since I was 4 years old, watching it over and over again on VHS), and I daringly said to myself: "Well, why shouldn't such a wonderful Trek film receive a slash interpretation?" :-D
Date: 08/08/2010 1:00 AM Title: The Spring of Hope
What can I say to this. You have ended this story perfectly. What an amazing poem that you found that fits perfectly....so perfectly. I am so pleased that you let me in your version of Wrath of Khan. Your version brings me such happiness even though it was a sad ending for Spock...it also gives us hope and understanding what friendship can be like when we give everything to a love one. It is what you do with it later that sows the seed of renewal. MERCI BEAUCOUP MON AMIE....
"If I Ever Leave This World Alive" is one of my absolute favorite Flogging Molly songs. A few days before I finished the story I happened by chance to hear the song on a very random mixed cd that I had made ages ago for long distance driving trip. The lyrics struck me as being -exactly- the kind of conversation that Jim and Spock would have with each other.
It's like Jim is looking at the Genesis planet, talking with Spock (Wherever I am you'll always be / More than just a memory / If I ever leave this world alive) ("She says: I'm okay, I'm alright / though you have gone from my life / you said that it would / now everything should be alright)
...and the Genesis planet, as Spock, answers back. (so in a word don't shed a tear / I'll be here when it all gets weird / If I ever leave this world alive / So when in doubt just call my name / just before you go insane )
Because really, both Jim and Spock have managed to leave the world alive. Spock's katra is still living within McCoy, though his body has died. And Jim has left his old world and entered a new one...
I am so very glad that you liked this story. I think that all of the movies have a message of hope within them (a vision that Roddenberry felt very strongly about for the Trek universe). Even though Khan ends so sadly, there is still hope for something better to come.
All of the stories that I have (and will) write in this series carry that message: that there is happiness, hope, and JOY for Jim and Spock, no matter what.
Date: 08/07/2010 2:13 AM Title: The Kobayashi Maru
Others have said all I could say and more, but I will add my thanks for your imagination and talent. One thing that really piques my interest is your hint that Kirk and Spock were bonded before Spock chose to go to Gol since your version of events has Kirk recalling that he was the one to fill out the application (seems kind of strange to put it that way, but there it is). Anyway, do you have a story in mind for that event? Has it been written already and I haven't come across it? Or is it just the way you provide yourself with a back story? I have to say I've never read any K/S story where Kirk helped Spock to actually embark on Kolinahr training. Interesting perspective....
In the way that I imagined this story, Jim and Spock have been bonded since the last final months of the original five year mission, which would place their bonding approximately 15 years before The Wrath of Khan, and nearly 6 years before The Motion Picture. Spock's ever growing concern for Jim's safety caused Jim to accept his promotion to the rank of Admiral at the end of the five year mission; for a time, that was enough to secure Spock's well-being. But eventually Spock's grip on his emotional state threatened to break down his control (a complete break with logic -- the worst reality for a Vulcan!), forcing him to beg Jim's permission to leave his side to undergo kolinahr. In his distressed condition, Spock couldn't complete the forms by himself, leading a conflicted Jim to complete the forms for him...Jim knew that the needs of his bondmate came before his own, though it broke his heart to let Spock go.
At the moment, all of this is just back-story. I haven't actually written about these actual events in a story. Maybe I will one day. It certainly seems like a story ripe with ansty hurt-comfort -- and I am a complete sucker for those kinds of stories!
Date: 08/06/2010 10:33 AM Title: Humanity Reflected
You my dear friend are so blessed to be able to write so profoundly. You never cease to amaze me with your insights on how a certain scene could have happened. Jim who is now cut off from Spock feels so alone. Having that special person with you in your mind ...you get used to it and when that person is gone complete chaos. Total abandonnemnt. I love the fact you show the readers Spock reacting to the people around them. Awaiting you next chapter.
When I was tossing ideas for this chapter back in forth in my head, I was coming up with all kinds of different things to try and show the chaos in Kirk's mind -- everything from trying to committ suicide (and McCoy stopping him), to Kirk snapping at cadets for being distracted from their duties thanks to Spock's death, to Kirk actually getting into a fight with Chekov and beating him to a near bloody pulp when he sees Chekov sitting in Spock's chair at the science station. Obviously I went a different route, and I'm happy with the way it turned out.
One of the things that I hate the most about The Search for Spock is the fact that, even though the whole movie is about Spock, he's not in 99% of the movie! This way, by by having Spock in McCoy's mind and aware of what's going on around him still allows him to react. It's a great window to open for slash opportunities, and one which I'm certainly going to need for the next story.
Date: 08/06/2010 5:15 AM Title: Humanity Reflected
I rushed home each night from work looking for your update. I just knew you were going to write something about what occured during the period between Spock's death and his funeral...I just didn't know how you were going to do it. I could totally see Kirk's initial reaction would be to somehow try and remove his grief and fear of being alone to go to Gol. But to remove the pain, he would have to remove the love and happiness too. Two sides of the same coin. (I was also planning on touching on this subject of the kolinahr in my current story...don't want to give it away though!)
Sorry that I kept you waiting for as long as I did. Writing Spock's death really overwhelmed me, much more than I ever anticipated that it was going to. Every time I tried to sit down and write this chapter over the past few days, nothing would come out. It was just with Kirk: There were no tears. And then, suddenly, tonight, everything in this chapter just came pouring out. It really was like the floodgates had been opened, and I could feel again!
I can't wait to read the latest updates to your most recent story. I've gotten way behind reading other stories while I've been working on this, and it's just not going to cut it. Watch for a review coming from me soon! ;-)
Date: 08/03/2010 3:27 AM Title: The Kobayashi Maru
Yes.............makes perfect sense that he doesn't die because his essence is with McCoy. But it must frustrate Jim so because he doesn't care he wants to die nonetheless. I do remember the episode The Offspring...and the Lal who keeps hitting it's own chest...ah that was a moving episode. Jim is feeling nothing...so numb. He is blind himself not knowing what to do now. Has no idea what direction to turn...a part of him is gone with Spock. It was a stroke of genius to have Leonard say Remember....and that was brought on by the director I believe...not sure...he encouraged Leonard to say something since he was dieing and it was the end of the character to say something profound to his friend....And Leonard chose the word Remember. In the book version i believe it isn't uttered. They of course did not know what would happen in the third film so it was not included. But how perfect to end with that simple word and open something wondrous about the Vulcan's The Katra....ahhhhhhh stroke of genius. The scene with Sarek and Jim is so touching...oh my god...i remember on youtube someone posted something about the death scene. When Jim is watching the death scene with Sarek on the viewer from the angle shown it looks like Jim is trying to reach out to touch Spock's face. I will try to find it for you. Take care...sorry this was a little off topic but I just wanted to let you know again that I am loving what you are doing. Take care...
Date: 08/02/2010 11:47 PM Title: The Winter of Despair
I still tear up when I watch Spock's death in TWOK. (Even my husband has a hard time watching it). Having Kirk react like this...going in shock and screaming in Vulcan...great job with it. I thought the movie should have shown a little more angush from Kirk. Oh and Dahliaxat, until I get my hands on the novel, what was Spock's thoughts as he was dying that you mentioned earlier? You have peaked my curiosity.
I'm so glad to know that you liked my take on Jim's reaction. The Vulcan Language Dictionary got a workout, that's for sure.
I have to tell you, though -- writing that death scene was probably one of the hardest things I've ever tackled as a (very) amateur writer. I cry every single time I watch that scene. And do you know how many times I had to watch that scene to get a sense of all the dialogue and the body language and facial expressions?
Let's just say, I was as big an emotional train wreck as Jim (if not moreso) by the time I finished Spock's death scene.
Date: 08/02/2010 7:42 AM Title: The Winter of Despair
When he screamed T'hy'la I cried with him....Oh my friend you outdid yourself...To have it spoken in the Vulcan language it is so beautiful and so sad. When he is in the chamber and hits the plexiglass i didn't stop to think he was blind...he couldn't see Jim...I thought he could see him a little but i suppose not. Jim feeling utterly helpless. Wonderful idea to add the dialogue after he crumples to the floor and says no..because we do not see what happens after. But like i mentioned to you...Bones does try to touch him and he just goes beserk...in the novelization. I believed Jim would die because of the severed mind link but for now we wait...The strange behavior Jim is experiencing will be interesting to see how it develops. But rest now my child you have done this chapter justice...and much more...peace my friend.
I knew that something had to come after that moment, the moment when Jim says "no..." I mean, the best thing, the most important thing, the only thing that Jim needs in his entire life is now gone. I tried to imagine how I would feel -- all I could feel thinking about it was rage. Complete, inconsolable blind rage. And the kind of emptiness inside that crushes you to unrecognizeable pieces, until you can't feel anything anymore. Until all you're left with is a shell of who you actually are, and nothing inside you can understand what has just happened. All that's left is some remote part of your brain screaming "Wrong! Malfunction! Error! Error!"
But as we all (the readers and viewers) know, Spock isn't gone. Or at least his katra is not. Spock preserves the essence of who he is by essentially mind-raping McCoy and forcing his katra into McCoy. The bond that Jim shares isn't with Spock's body, it's with Spock's soul. And since Spock's soul is stored safely within McCoy, Jim can't die.
Date: 08/02/2010 4:39 AM Title: The Kobayashi Maru
Ok ..I already reviewed this chapter but I just wanted to agree with Red Bird..yes yes yes...read the novelization...I know you don't want it to influence you. But there are so many wonderful things in there..and if Redbird has read number two...she may or may not read the line that Spock is thinking when he is about to die.....I just squeed when I read it...couldn't believe he said it...Also I will hold her down ok Bastet go get the clippers.....just kidding my friend you may not be getting many people reviewing but you have us...and we absolutely adore what your are doing ...you are probably the first that has decided to go this route and it is so refreshing...and it isn't easy my friend I am certain...Always having to review the scenes to see if you haven't missed anything..
I guess I missed the part where it says that Saavik figured out Spock and Jim's relationship...yes it will be interesting when they do the pon farr thing...and I would assume more than once since he aged more than one time....but they sure got there clothes back on fast enough...I do love Robin Curtis..she was good as Kirstey Alley's replacement...and to hear her speak Vulcan was awesome...lots of Vulcan not just a few words...ok sorry to go off topic...love you lots for doing trek two...loooking forward for number three
and GIVING YOU THE COURAGE AND STRENGTH to do the death scene...We are all behind you. WE ARE YOUR FOLLOWERS...
I've got to tell you, I am living and breathing every single moment with Jim right now. You don't realize how many times I've just had to stop writing for a while and go do other things...listlessly...there are moments as Jim that I just want to lay down and die right beside Spock and never have to think about a world without K/S!
Watch out for all of the Vulcan (with translations close by) coming down in the next chapter...As all of Vulcan would say, "Dif-tor heh smusma!" [Live long and prosper!]
Date: 08/02/2010 2:44 AM Title: The Conditions of the Test
I hope (no I'm begging) that you'll do a Star Trek The Search for Spock right after this is done (or else I'll track you down and I'll..oh I don't know...shave your eyebrows off or something :P ) Anyway, now that Saavik has figured out Spock and Kirk's relationship, I'm dying to how you will translate her thoughts as she helps Spock through his pon farr.
Please don't shave my eyebrows! *hides behind a big rock, or a planetoid, or the Mutara nebula, or something*
Don't worry, I'm probably going to start into The Search for Spock as soon as I get done posting the final chapters for this story. I've been trying to drop little details into the chapters that are going to come into play in the next story -- and yes, it's going to be quite angsty when Saavik has to deal with Spock in pon farr. :-D
Date: 08/02/2010 2:08 AM Title: The Kobayashi Maru
Once you finish this, I highly recommend you read the movie's novelization. Actually, I recommend that to anyone enjoying this. There's a fairly lenghty conversation between Spock and Saavik where Spock more or less advises Saavik not to take herself too seriously, to not try to be a perfect Vulcan (and fight her half Romulan self to do so), and to be open to surprises in her life. Obviously, his life turned out differently than he could ever expect as he started out in Starfleet. After reading this version of TWOK, I read that exchange from a very different perspective than I did many years ago. It's like Spock wants to say, "I didn't know I'd fall in love with a human, my commanding officer, and devote my life and career to his". Take a look....
Oh, I will have to read the novelization soon! *graspy hands*
Though I'm so afraid that I'd have the overwhelming urge to come back to this story and re-write half of it after doing so!
Date: 08/01/2010 3:06 AM Title: The Truth Remembered
You have left me in tears my dear friend...what a wonderful chapter and lovely ending to this heart to heart conversation...Thank you for finding a place to write it...
Oh you are so very observant...Khan noticing Spock being important to Jim...that is priceless...never would have thought of it that way.
And using Jedda...the man and his wife who took care of David.
To borrow a phrase...You never cease to amaze me...
Gosh... I don't know what else to say in response to your review. Thank you for your kind review. *bows humbly*
Date: 08/01/2010 12:36 AM Title: The Truth Remembered
Ahhhh!!! I totally squee'd at those last few paragraphs! Too bad it wasn't really in the movie...cause it would have fit in perfectly. I LOVED IT!
I am so glad that I could make you squee with delight! *hugs*
I totally agree with you, that it's a terrible the last bit wasn't in the movie -- every K/S fan in the world would have died in happiness to see it. Who ever said that there wasn't romance in The Wrath of Khan, I'd like to know, because it is there, as clear as day...
Date: 07/30/2010 2:15 PM Title: The Truth Recovered
I like this chapter alot. The inner confusion Kirk felt when he discovered that Carol was pregant happy/scared at the same time. I had no clue that Jim dated Janet Wallace...and I do read Memory Alpha alot. I got no inkling of it when I watched the deadly years. Great chapter
There was only a short scene about it, when Jim and Janet were talking about Janet's dead husband, so it's not like it's all that surprising to miss it. Kirk says something (when he's all old and decrepit) about not being able to offer Janet, who is still young, what she needs and deserves. Something to that effect.
Yes, Kirk definitely would have been confused, I think. Fatherhood would not have been something that he was considering at that point in his life, with his "love-em-and-leave-em" attitude. But I could see him being excited, though I have a terrible feeling that he might have lost interest without Carol and David being on the ship with him. Too distracting, anyway.
That's what the whole chapter was about -- not just Kirk's confusion, but Carol's too. Just because there's no real background for it in the movie, I think people assume that it was an easy decision for Carol to make. And it really wasn't an easy one. It took Carol months of soul searching before she decided to cut Jim out of David's life.
Date: 07/30/2010 12:07 PM Title: The Truth Recovered
Wonderful again my friend....excellent back story on Carol. Using Jedda is great he was in the novelization. So were alot of other people...the book really delved in the characters there...the film seriously lacked in that direction but I guess it was not important to the plot. I was trying to remember who Janet was and finally yes..I remember her ..The Deadly Years.. She was a nice girl. It was good to use the barrier sequence from Where No Man because it showed that really space is dangerous...and Carol decided it would be no place for her son. You have a wonderful imagination to fit the little pieces that are missing it works perfectly. There is a scene in the book not in the movie .....I do hope you will consider that line you mentioned about...One day you will find someone...I wish I could tell you more but I know you haven;t read the book and I don't want to influence you whatsover....I just think that Carol and Jim need a heart to heart when everything is said and done.....ooops is that saying too much...ok i will shut up now...love you for writing this...take care
PS...my version of Carol in Denial....might be a little strange but I see her a little different.
I'm going to include just a tiny bit more about Jedda in the next chapter. I feel bad that the guy is seen in the movie, but that we really know so very little about him. I guess I have a thing about including background characters, and the background of characters... :)
Don't worry -- Part of the heart to heart that you're hoping for between Jim and Carol is coming soon too.
Date: 07/29/2010 8:48 AM Title: The Station
I enjoyed so much the scene between Carol and Jim. Now if I calculate that sex scene must have produced David because the actor Merritt Buttrick looks about that age. Damn he was a handsome man...so young...a wonderful actor. AIDS had to take him away unfortunately. Sorry...to go off topic...I do love what you did with the scene where Carol and Jim talk. Carol saying to Jim that maybe one day you will someone....ah well said my friend. Awaiting more chapters from you. Many thanks.....................
You figure correctly with your math, my friend. I can't imagine Carol already being pregnant at that point and -not- telling Jim about something like that. That just doesn't strike me as something that Carol would do... (more on this idea to follow in the next chapter) ;)
And more about that line that you liked ("maybe one day...") in the next chapter too.
Date: 07/29/2010 8:38 AM Title: The Reasons For Three
I thought Darnell's name rang a bell. Wonderful job again my friend. Spock is showing so much worry for Jim. Did you notice about the stain on Jim's shirt changed position. I don't understand why that happened. Why would they give him a different bloody shirt. Why not keep the original...sorry just something that always nagged at me. Keep on writing your wonderful chapters...I am always here to read them...merci...
I always noticed that the stain moved too! The poor props department -- making such a blaring continuity mistake. (oh well). I see it every time...just couldn't figure a reason for a different bloody uniform; I figured that the insult of having to wear the old one that Preston bloodied was bad enough...