Date: 10/21/2010 5:02 PM Title: Chapter 1
It was a funny and relaxant lecture ^_^ As an italian I giggled 'cause the pizza thing (go anchovies pizza is so much better with them) One linguistic curiosity: really the expression "with gusto" passed from italian to english?! That's so awesome!
Thanks for reading. I love anchovies, too! :)
Date: 08/04/2010 9:40 PM Title: Chapter 1
Deirdre is a bit of a Mary Sue toward the beginning. Maybe some more focus on the K/S would be in order. You're a good writer, and I think with a bit of honing you could do some really awesome stuff.
"A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly"
I'd like to know how an ordinary waitress with no special abilities is in any way a Mary Sue?