Date: 09/26/2014 4:05 PM Title: At the End of the Day
Hiya - balance was meant literally, as in, it took me a while (perhaps, I shouldn't admit!)to figure out that Spock must be kneeling tall or kneeling back on the bed, when he's topping Jim, because how else would he hold himself up/balance - and, the bath must be a deep one, like a hot tub, at the beginning... Oh, the conversations we have on this archive! We shouldn't, more than likely! Just a throw away couple of lines would sort that, and help idiots like me. cos I had to stop reading, figure it out, and continue on.... Also, as far as words that translate for anatomy - 'member' is one... Oh, again, the conversations with total strangers!! The story is, overall, very amazingly written though!!!!
Date: 09/25/2014 10:01 PM Title: At the End of the Day
VERY HOT, very well written for the most part - though I think balance would be an issue in some places (!) - it's all about angles! - And, the shape of the bath (!) at the beginning! I'm far from naive, but I did think 'balance?' a few times! The emotional stuff - and the confiding moments are more than enough to make this worth reading NOT just for the sex (just, maybe, think up a few more words for their anatomies, now and then)....
First off, thanks for taking the time to review!
Next, I think you're right in many points, I will, for example, add some descriptions (eventually). Not too many, however, because I want people to form their own pictures in their minds. But there is something that needs more emphasis.
Anatomical descriptions are something I have a problem with. You see, I have an aversion to the more vulgar words as well as the Latin ones because I both diminish the romantic aspect. That's all me, of course, but I can't feel the one is crude and the other too clinical. The more colourful metaphors often border on the ridiculous. I'll have to jump over my shadow in one way or another, however. Here, too, you are right, of course.
I haven't got the least inkling what you mean by balance, though. But I think there we're back to precise descriptions that I abandoned for the sake of brevity.
Date: 09/14/2014 4:18 AM Title: Fire
Thank you for not killing T'Kray! Gosh! I love her. Anyway, I had to read 11-14 together because the action was getting too hairy and I couldn't take the suspense. Hope you forgive me.
There's nothing to forgive, quite the contrary! I'm glad that you were captivated like that :)
I'm glad I didn't kill her, too :P
Date: 08/12/2014 1:29 AM Title: Fire
mosaicism is so cool! I know, apropos of nothing, but i just had to say it.
I was tempted to go further into the subject and get into the difference of problems during mitosis as opposed to meiosis but then I whacked myself over the hand and refrained :P
Date: 03/01/2014 4:46 AM Title: Water
I'm somehow picturing this badass Vulcan duo saving their bondmates--whether by brains, or brawn, or being cold stone crazy... you know they will.
Spock is one hell of a stubborn guy. Add a brilliant mind, fury that would be there if allowed, love and friendship, then add another Vulcan with a much more slippery grip on herself but also more intuition and acquired empathy ... either method sounds likely
Date: 02/10/2014 1:46 AM Title: Water
‘I know. But I’ll go to sleep alone, I can’t smell you or feel you.’ Gentle fingers were twined into his hair, and he looked up. ‘I mean … I know it’s not for long, but it’s the first time since we bonded.’ Spock nodded solemnly and leaned down, placing a light kiss on Jim’s forehead.
Date: 02/07/2014 1:18 AM Title: Water
I hate to be like this but I really got confused by the whole dialogue between Capt Kirk and the Admiral, which I guess is supposed to introduce everyone? Is there one Andorian in the crew or two? And this sentence:
‘Your navigator and helmsman sound very much alike. And it seems you didn’t press your point?’
Were the last two named the navigator and helmsman? I mean, Kirk doesn't say who does what on the bridge, that might have helped me keep up. And what does he mean by "press your point"? Is he referring to what Kirk just said or something that happened earlier? I confess I didn't finish Air, so....
I know you're busy, it's just, I really want to know what's happening. I just would like to be clued in. I love your writing and that whole founding of the Federation trope is kinda cool. Is there a Betazed in the crew?
Since I don't have a beta, I'm more than grateful for pointing things out to me. I usually post directly after I'm done proofreading, and I proofread immediately after I'm done writing. That's less than ideal.
It should be clearer now. I didn't point out precisely what everyone does, because that's awkward ... like it's awkward in TV when someone echoes what the other says on the phone ... Ndaga sees where they all are, so he knows what they're doing. But I did mean to add a remark about the helmsman and the navigator. That slipped my mind.
Just as it slipped my mind to say what the hell Ndaga means when he asks if Kirk pressed his point. Yeah.
I didn't consider if there's a Betazoid among them. The founders are Earth, Vulcan, Tellar Prime, and Andoria, and there's at least one of each on the bridge.
Date: 01/14/2014 1:39 PM Title: Air
I wrote most of this review and somehow it disappeared - so I'm trying again.
This story was a pleasure to read. Very creative. Nice to see some science in the science fiction. McCoy especially was beautifully written, as was Spock. And I agree, the bacteria had to be kept from the outsiders - too bad T'Vray couldn't find a way to preserve it for the Vainal. And how are the humans on Dainan to be cured of their genetic defects and thier version of neonazism? Bring on the sequel!
Thanks a lot!
Given their side-effects, the bacteria couldn't be left to the Vainal. The sequel hasn't got anything to do with Dainam, directly, but in the third or the last part I'll answer all the open questions (about the bacteria and what happened to the humans on Dainam).
Date: 12/10/2013 6:47 PM Title: All You Need and More
Wow... Hot and steamy, yet intimate and sweet. For some reason the "Lie back down, Jim" made me just squeel with delight!
I very much enjoyed this story, thanks for sharing it :)
I thank you for the kind review!