This story (which I have now done my usual and annoying trick of adding a few bits to when I could have sworn I had already typed everything I want to say!) was written because of reactions to feedback I sent to a brilliant story by Larmrh. First of all, my feedback, and thus, the kind of person I am, and the life I actually lead, and thoroughly enjoy, was misunderstood. Then, even after peace was made, I still felt I should, perhaps explain myself more, as I still felt a bit understood. Like, for instance, should I call myself gay, or Bisexual? If people require a label of me, what should it be? I am more gay than Bi, but Bisexual recognition is a part of my make up (no. I don't hide behind it. I'm not using the word 'make up' in that sense!) - It's a genetic or brain chemistry or reason for being put on this Earth kind of make up which, I confess, is contradictory - but not made up or put on. Just contradictory, and unless you're me, or my soul mate (my wife), it is hard to fully understand, I know that.
Also, in the real world, it might be too difficult for real in love kind of love to be unconditional, but that is, I think, what it is our responsibility to each other to aspire to...When people profess to be in love, then, sex becomes making love, and making love becomes more than a nice way to console each other, or a fun way to pass the time with a F**K BUDDY that you've grown accustomed to, it becomes a way of communicating your soul deep love to this wonderful person whom you know is worthy and needing your love... I know. I know. Too sappy, and what some will consider not just unrealistic because it's rare, but unrealistic altogether. I admit, it might be unworkable for one reason or another, not least because we are only human (or humanoid!) but, without wanting to preach, it's my personal opinion that we do have a responsibility to each other and the world in general, to aspire to it (unconditiomal love between one basically good soul and another) especially if we claim that we are married and in love.
Hence, I've written a story which I admit starts similarly to Larmrh's 'Sex and Sexuality' but it isn't the same, and it tries to say what I was getting at in my comments which were questioned by some. Not that sexuality can be changed, and that there's no difference between a homosexual man or woman fancying (and more than fancying) another man or woman, and a Bisexual man fancying another man, or a Bisexual woman fancying another woman - Neither do I think that, as was alluded to, homosexuality and gender swap are similar to an injured or disabled person asking their partner to still find their body sexually attractive, unless of course, your genitalia have been attacked by hormonally affecting illness, or equally form changing injury. I'm simply saying that love after initial lust should create a lust of another kind, that exists beyond changes out of either partner's control. Wouldn't you still want, desperately, to make your partner feel loved, soul deep? In that sense, I think there is a link between our bodies on this Earth, and our souls while they are on this Earth. Beauty is not skin deep, and neither should sexual love be - not once it has settled into a person's soul. Your partner still needs you, and a way to be together in body, and in soul, should at least be searched for.
KS turmoil, pining, angst, and love... It deals with love, and profound truths. It's about how the need for sex, where you look for love and how you find it, combine, when you are truly in love - and yet, it tries not to be 'magical' about the metaphysical realities of sexual function at its most potently urging extent. (No. This is not trying to be a Mills and Boon novel!). What does for one, does not do for every one else in the line, that is undisputed - and, yet, our bodies can always throw us for a loop, one way or the other. They give us unespected things to deal with, as well as things that can be relied upon. Can we make the two co-exist if we are, for whatever reason, called to?
How does all this come into question for Kirk and Spock? How do they deal with all it entails? Jim has always craved sex, and that in itself, doesn't go away. Spock can live without sex, if he must, but even he would rather not; this is, in equal measure, for his, and Jim's, sake - and there will come a time when he, Spock, literally, cannot continue to live without sex What do all of these factors, mean for, and do to, their relationship? They are both somewhat nervous about what is going to happen, and what might not happen... And yet, Love does have a part to play. The question is, can it save the day?
THIS IS SET IN AN AU, WHERE JIM IS BISEXUAL, AND SPOCK IS HOMOSEXUAL. IN THIS REALITY, HE HAS NOT HAD ANY KIND OF ROMANTIC AFFECTIONS FOR LEILA,ZARABETH, OR THE ROMULAN FEMALE COMMANDER, NOR ANY OTHER FEMALE...
NoneGenres: Kirk/Spock SlashOther Languages:
NoneStory Type: Angst
, Established Relationship
, Hurt/ComfortTrope (OPTIONAL):
NoneUniverse: AU Alternate Universe
, ST:TOS Original UniverseWarnings:
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